Sami Lahoud

Sharing My Belief and the Foundation of My Life

I  reached a conscious decision years before this trial, that my life was created by God and did not just pass through a random act of evolution.  So really, I was not in a panic mode about my diagnosis, or too concerned about  “who” is in charge of the outcome of my situation.

I knew that my God, who created me, was, still is and will always be in full control and that this could not have happened unless He had approved it.  Let me explain a bit more.

In life you have to make a decision.  Are you a “grown-up germ” or wonderfully created?  If you think about it, It takes much more faith to believe that the origin of the human race and of the universe has come to pass through the collision of atoms.  And furthermore, that man has emerged from slime as a result of a cosmic accident with no definitive purpose in view, and is being destined to annihilation, so that our origin of humanity is meaninglessness and the destiny of human kind is meaningless. Translated, it means that I find it very hard to believe that man is just a “grown up germ” destined to annihilation. Is this what your life is all about? If you do not believe in a creator then what do you believe in?  Perhaps, you are just heading  nowhere – unsure who is in control..  I am sure that you are worth much more than this. There must be more to your life than this.

Could it be that you, and everything in this world was created, by chance?   Think about it, when we refer to chance, we are saying that chance is “something”. What is this mysterious “x” factor of chance? If you think about it, chance is nothing but a good word that describes mathematical possibilities; nothing more and nothing less.  However, we sometimes use the word chance out of context to try and make shabby philosophy respectable. Think about this, chance cannot do anything, because chance is NOT a thing. For something to act, it has to first be, and chance is NOT a thing.  As an example, to say the universe was created by chance, we are saying the universe was created by nothing; a random happening.   If we had nothing centuries ago, we should have nothing today.  We cannot get something from nothing, therefore, we cannot get anything from chance.

I’ll stop at this stage, but, am deeply concerned about making a point. . What I am trying to say is that I am fine and at peace with this trial since I am firmly rooted in the fact that our perfectly orchestrated and designed world and universe could not have been created by chance.

My faith was fully founded, way before this trial, on God, and God alone, my creator,  who is in full control, thus I fervently  believe that I would have not have passed through this Leukemia trial unless God Himself had approved it.   So why should I freak out?

When I first landed in Houston, a very dear brother took me on the side and asked me a question.  He said “Tell me, how do you feel?  Be honest.”   I paused for a second and said, “Honestly, I feel humbled that God believes that I can endure this trial.  I am very humbled, keeping in mind how he has assured me that he was in control all the way.  The more I think about it the more I am in awe. My mom, wife, kids, sisters, loved ones … everyone is in Houston.  We are all surrounded by friends and an excellent support system.  He worked out all the details and He is in control, thus I am humbled”.

Spiritually, what does all this mean to me?

I believe this trial might not be “as hard” on me, perhaps as some, since I have already “tasted and witnessed” the impact of difficult trials.  I have been surrounded by strong believers who have had their faith tested in these last few years. Oh yes, many around me have had their faith dramatically tested and proven worthy. These are individuals that I am proud to be serving with, side by side.   I acknowledge the fact that this experience will bring me and others closer to the Lord.  This has been  the foundation of my peace, from the very beginning of this trial

Step One

Establish a personal prayer:    During my quiet time, I was reminded how Jesus prayed.  Be honest, but remain focused and faithful.  If possible take this cup away from me, yet not my Will, but yours be done.  Accordingly, that was my prayer, and I stuck with it.

Step Two

Submit it all to the Lord and start enjoying the journey:  It does not mean that you will not have negative thoughts.  My first  night at MDA, I remember  a thought about Job and how he was tested and thus my trial will be the same, however, during my quiet time, the Lord reminded me of Abraham and how he was tested and it was not similar to Job.  But in both situations, both men rejoiced at the end and were in a better situation.  When they moved me to isolation, the Lord reminded me of Jonah and how God got all of Jonah’s attention when he was in “isolation” – Jonah’s was for three days, mine three weeks.  So far, I am loving it to say the least, really enjoying this special time with the Lord.  Every day brings a new experience.

More Thoughts

The Lord is also using this trial to bless and encourage others around me.  So I am fine with it. I am seeing people getting on their knees, humbling themselves, seeking the Lord and pleading with Him for my sake, getting closer to Him and He to them, so who am I to question the Lord and say, Lord why me?   Look around and see how many blessings are coming out of this trial.   I am humbled that he found me worthy of this trial.

Does it mean that I will be healed for sure at the end?  I don’t think that should be my concern.  Who can fully secure his tomorrow?  At this stage, I am enjoying my time with Him.  I am also enjoying the individual revivals that I see surfacing in the lives of ones who are truly seeking prayer on my behalf, or those who have been thinking about getting closer to the Lord and now because of my experience, are being led to seek Him.  For now, there is nothing but rejoicing in the Lord for He is good and in full control.